"Welcome to the world of disappoinments, my child"

It's 12.30 in the morning and I am watching my daughter sleep. She looks so peaceful..unbothered by this sometimes harsh and wicked world. Later on this morning she is going to have to face reality...that life doesnt always end up the way you envisioned it. You see, during the morning assembly, the school will have its prefect ceremony...and she will not be a part of it.

She has not been selected to be a prefect.

For many growing up, being a prefect is a symbol of status, pretige, leadership. Wearing that tiny plastic pin seperates the everyday folk from the elite. I was a prefect at WPS and enjoyed every minute of it. In high school, I remember waiting with semi-bated breath for my name to be called. I really didnt care if I became a prefect. Moreso I wanted to know what went on behind that dark blue door to the ever elusive 'prefect room'. And I distinctly remember the smell of microwave popcorn..back then it was such a novelty item. Maybe that's why I eat so much of it to this day...to make up for not being able to during the 1990/1991 school year. I've digressed...told you I could get random.

Anyhow, I am not so much bothered that she wasnt chosen because that is a choice that was made by her school and who am I to question it. However, I take issue with parts of the process and the impact it has had on kids' self-esteem. When you have a list for teachers to tick the name of the students who they believe should be selected, make sure that kids who visit the office DO NOT see it. Because guess what, some did. And hence the talking between them began. When she heard about the list she came home and asked me to go to school the next day to 'vote' for her. I had no clue what she was referring to until a parent called me and asked me about the same dreaded list that was causing their child some discomfort.

Then to make matters worst, letters were sent home to parents and a child proudly shares the good news with their friends. Another silent devestating blow for those whose bags did not carry the same precious cargo.

When my child asked me if I'd received 'the letter' I got a lil knot in my stomach because I had to keep it 100 with her and tell her no. She held out hope that she would receive a letter today, but to no avail.

What do I do??

The only thing Carla knows how to do..I told her the truth. Her eyes welled up and she ran into the bathroom. I left her alone because this something that no amount of words could soften. My baby got her first taste of rejection. Damn. When she reemerged I told her simply: "Life can suck sometimes but it's how you deal with things that really matters."

"Dont trip tomorrow, just hold your head high. Continue to thrive academically and always walk with pride."

Her response: "Mama, I am gonna trip and I know I am gonna cry."

I told her it's ok to cry but frig, I was tearing up inside because she was getting a harsh introduction the world of disappointments. Little does she know that this is just the first of many. And probably the most painless. I wanted to tell her this but didnt because she has to understand that in life, many shitty sticks are handed to you. Only you can decide if they stick to you or not.

Part of me wants to go to the school in the morning to comfort her but I wont because in that long complicated road called life, if I do not teach her to perservere in trying times, I will cripple her during the rest of the journey.

Sleep peacefully baby girl...