Adventures in mamaland

So tonight I get home late 'cause I stopped at my aunt's to help her with something. I end up laying on her couch half snoozing. I am tired as heck and there is no rest for the weary. Plus, I really dont feel like washing the TONS of plastic containers from the kids since they are being really strict this year about enforcing 'trash free' lunches. Yea, yea, I love the environment just like the next tree hugger, but I took sandwich bags to school in the 70's and we are still doing just fine.

Anyway, I come home, and begin the nightly regime. Bath Eemy with no incident, dry him off and off he goes. Then comes my chocolate boy. Now let me start by saying..when I was pregnant I was warned by one of my male cousins: "The key to successfully raising boys is that they will ALWAYS do stupid things." Well, he wasnt joking. Tell me why Boy Boys (Jani) eagerly disrobes, hops in the tub and proceeds to PEE!! Like serz lil boy?! He thinks it's hilarious. Well surely you know what I did next...

I added more Savlon and Radox and a good bath he got. I can hear some of you saying: eeeww but have you bought a tank of water lately?  Plus, I reationalised, the concentration of water to pee was at least 50 to 1 so I figured it probably broke down to the strength of peroxide. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

So after all is said and done (and Jani's skin has a special 'glow' (lmao) I allow them to go the computer. Next thing I know just Eemy is on it and when I go to check my email, the screen in UPSIDE DOWN!! And he is there happily pointing and clicking away like he's surfing the web. How in the hell did he do that?

I dont panic cause I'm thinking it's as simple as just clicking on something. I remembered him handling the mouse so here i am turning the mouse around, right clicking, left clicking, tryna click both sides together..SOMETHING..to no avail! I reboot the computer, still upside down. I turn it completely off and leave it for a few minutes. FAIL again. Now I'm getting hot under the collar. I try to click on things upside down but I dare you reprogramme ya brain in an instant...it will drive you insane.

Cause I got so much to do, I am starting to panic. So I make a few calls and eventually get it fixed, but in my determination to solve this problem I am leaving the lillest one unsupervised and I go in my room and there is popcorn EVERYWHERE. He is jumping on the bed and the kernels are flying. I go in the kitchen to get the broom and the fridge is open because he has mastered helping himself and tonight it was obvious that he ate ham straight outta de container.

I am like what the heck can go off kilter this evening....

So it's now 9.45 and there is no sign of sleep in their eyes. In fact Eemy asks for his "baba" only to show me how he's mastered the art of spitting all over aforementioned popcorn filled bed. 5-4-3-2-1.


So I take the juice and he SCREAMS the house down. So now I have a dilema...allow him to have it and he spits all over my bed or take it from him and he screams. Well I chose the latter. I'm sure I will be getting a visit from Sheelagh Cooper toma. Whatever. Within 20 minutes Boy Boys is snoring and Eeemy is WIDE OPEN. Benadryll is an option but my doctor friend is unreachable and I need the correct dosing...damn!


Well an  hour and several smacks later my lil Eemy finally lost the battle with the Sandman and all is quiet in my world. Until it begins all over again tomorrow. But I love my life and wouldnt trade it for anybody's. Now let me get my azz of this computer and change my linen and sweep up all the damn popcorn!